Tuesday, December 11


Another one of those moments...

I was reading an interview of Eva Longoria and read a bit about her mother being non-judgemental and always wanting whatever made her kids happy. I know this. I've wanted this as a parent, too. I *thought* I was "there" until I read this paragraph, set the paper down and nodded my head saying, "Uh huh." and then something clicked.

All those times I kept getting frustrated when one of the boys was doing something that I didn't "get". Something I saw as more mess to clean or whatever and I asked why. Why was he doing that thing?? And my frustration just increased when I heard, "I don't know", "Just 'cause" or "Because I like to". I guess I need one of those Star Trek every-language-interpreters, because what it was translating to me was something along the lines of "I don't have a clue but I'm going to keep doing it anyway, even if it does bug you". But for some reason, that one small bit of an interview in that magazine helped me translate those comments! Suddenly, it was clear!! They were saying, "It makes me HAPPY"!!! I was stopped in my tracks momentarily as this realization struck me. A figurative slap to my forehead and a resounding, "DUH!!" thundered through my head. Obviously, I wasn't "there" - I wasn't living my life without judgement, I wasn't 100% at "whatever makes them *happy*".

Does RU make you appreciate your kids more? Does RU make you appreciate being a parent more? All I know is that if I had stayed on the traditional parenting path that has so much less challenges than RU/respectful parenting, there's a lot I would take for granted and much less I would find to appreciate about our lives, about our family.

I used to think I was NOT one of those people who said, "We unschool except for... (math, science, etc.)". But what I've recently come to realize is that I'm a person who unconsciously says, "We unschool except for tooth brushing/a few rules/occasional no's." But I'm working on that. :~)


Sandra Dodd said...

I linked this blog entry here (and quoted the first part). I hope you don't mind.



Stephanie said...

Hi De,
I just found you through Sandra Dodd. Nice to meet you and great post, I love RU and all it entails.

De said...

Always nice to hear when people enjoy the posts, Stephanie. Thank you.