Sunday, October 1


Well, good and bad points to the day. Wyl and Dave enjoyed the live Hobbit performance. What I saw of it, I really liked-masks were awesome, props were cool and I LOVED the versatility of the scenery! A lot of the masks and some props were made by one guy out of foam-I suggested to Dave he should find the guy's info and offer his help-he may learn something. Storm and I left about 10 minutes into the 55 minute production... He wasn't at all interested, and was starting to vocalize a bit and I didn't want to bother other watchers. I was really interested in the "theater" aspect of things, but Dave REALLY likes the Hobbit and LOTR books, so I took Storm.

Storm decided he wanted to go look at the children's section, rather than run the halls right behind the auditorium, so I didn't even get to hear the performance. :~) Storm had fun, though, rolling on the cool linoleum (? I think) floor with the planet, star and comet shapes in it, exploring an alphabet puzzle, and seeing ALLLL the books everywhere. He tried out different size chairs, explored the little puppet show "stage", tried the doors to the craft and story areas, looked out the windows and knocked, started a couple books, found a BLUE'S CLUES BOOK!! and skimmed through that twice, finding the clues and getting REALLY excited about that! :~D And basically wandering around. He didn't seem to mind leaving, either.

We went straight up Market Street instead of getting on the freeway (my preference) and went by Two Amigos-so decided to stop for lunch. The food was great, and so was my guilt for spending $50 on lunch... :~/ I disappointed Wyl when I asked him to eat instead of talking about Teen Titans and what the episode had been about today, since I could hear about Teen Titans in the car or at the store, but he couldn't eat his mexican pizza in the car or at the store. The look on his face told it all. :~( I'll try to remember better next time. I just worry so about him not eating... He eats SO little and he's thin... So, I picked up some chewable vitamins for both of them at the store-they finally have ORGANIC chewables! Yay! We saw a really neat evergreen-ish bush in front of where we parked. It had very tiny hard, white berries on it that smelled like mint or wintergreen when we crushed/broke them open. I tried google-imaging all the "minty" plants I know, but can't figure out what it is. I wonder if my Dad knows.

As we were heading on our previous "flight path" on Market Street, my lack of sleep the previous night really hit me. We split up and Wyl and Dave went to Thinker Toys while I took Storm into Mustard Seed. He saw avocados (man, I wish I knew how to record onto the computer so I could get the funny way he "says" avocado recorded for posterity!) and HAD to have one, and was amazingly patient while we went and paid for one and I rolled him (in the cart) back to the salad bar for a plastic knife to cut it with. (Thank goodness I was prepared with an extra spoon in my backpack!) He wanted to hold the half and spoon it up himself, but kept plopping, "Uh oh!" little spoonfuls onto the floor (yikes-how slippery THAT would be to step on!), so I kind of mushed it up in the shell and gave him the spoon back-then he didn't need to hold it himself, anymore, apparently, and happily munched away. Then he saw bulk-packaged Sun Drops and since we hadn't brought M & Ms with us, and he seemed pretty serious about wanting them, I swallowed my hesitation of the cost of them and put them in the cart-well, after giving him a handful. LOL By the time he was done and ready to get down and walk, Dave and Wyl were back (thank goodness!!), so that timing worked out great. While Dave checked out and Wyl chatted with the cashiers, Storm and I went back to get the Naked Juice I'd forgotten at the beginning of the store, baby-step running and having fun. I had a hard time convincing him that we needed to get back to Daddy with the juice before he was done checking out, then I remembered the Sun Drops and that was motivation enough to head STRAIGHT back to the cart! LOL He sat down and ate a few, then was up and toddling again. Dave let us know he was headed to the car, so I got him turned around as Wyl joined us and headed out. I managed to get him stopped at the street/parking lot where 3 cars stopped to let us go across. Weelllll... Storm only had socks on (oil and gasoline and other guk in the parking lot), he's quick as all get out, has no concept of street/car danger(that I can tell), and I was so ready to go home... so.... I scooped him up without discussion and carried him to the car. He was NOT a happy camper!! He told me in NO uncertain terms that I was violating his autonomy and that he was mightily displeased with me, struggling and kicking the whole while. Afterwards, I realized I could have asked Wyl to run and get me Storm's boots while I explained to Storm about needing footwear in the parking lot, big cars and a need for me to hold his hand, and by then, Wyl would have been back, I could have put the boots on and Storm would have been happy to hold my hand across the street. :~( Too tired and worn out to think of it beforehand... So, THAT'S the thing that's sticking out in my head today. Not the other cool moments, but the couple negative ones. Sigh...

I don't remember much what we did when we got home, because I was pretty zoned out, but I know the boys had a blast together playing a little toy xylophone/piano and goofing around with each other, scream-singing, dancing and banging as loud as they could on the keys. The noise was horrific and nerve-jangling, but I just couldn't find it in myself to ask them to keep it down, because the joy was so fufilling to observe.

I have also made it a point to extend RU to Dave the past few days and I believe the fighting, sarcasm and resentment has been reduced IMMENSELY. Why do the negatives stick with me?


Amanda said...

not sure why the negatives stick with you. I'm much the same way. And, while I'm all about AP parenting, sometimes children jus tneed to 1)be safe and 2)do what you need them to do when you need them to do it. It doesn't make you a bad parent that you just scooped him up, and he wasn't happy about it. You're probably going to do a lot of things he isn't going to be happy about as he grows up. It isn't your job to always make him happy. It is your jpb to raise a healthy, well rounded self sufficient individual. And, you seem very committed to that purpose.

De said...

Kind of answering you here, and kind of fleshing things out/working my thoughts out on "paper" as it were:

Well, it doesn't/didn't seem to fit my view of radical unschooling, nor was it very respectful to *him*. There were other options, but I didn't take the time to think them out in the first place, THEN I didn't listen to him when he was clearly telling me that I was crossing his boundaries and being very disrespectful to him. In my journey to radical unschooling, I try to keep in mind what I would do to/for my husband, another family member or a friend-and I certainly would never attempt to physically move one of them according to my desires or goals... especially without discussing it with them first.

Honestly, I don't *want* to "do a lot of things he isn't going to be happy about as he grows up". I'd *like* to treat him as an individual; with respect and deserving of dignity. My desire and my ability to use/get tools to make those goals a part of our reality haven't yet found a way to mesh quickly OR easily, but I'm working on it and we're getting there. :~)

Thanks, Amanda, for the chance to delve into this more deeply in my head!