Friday, February 15

“Friends” - Catching Up on the Past Half Year - Part 3

I am going to go a little outside my usual post “flavor” to address some things that have really been bothering me the past few months. I’ll preface all the entries with this disclaimer & that way it will be easy to differentiate for those who would rather not read negative things. Seriously, this post/entry has nothing to do with unschooling: it is part of a hashing-out on my part, a venting of my feelings on recent happenings, a “getting it out in full view” to avoid secret whisperings and wonderings about recent events. Ive gone back-and-forth over whether to actually post these words or not, and usually when I do that, I get a definite feel for it (after sleeping on it) if it is certainly a bad idea. I haven't gotten that feel in over a month of pondering, so if it turns out to be a bad idea I figure I've a lesson to learn from it.

Part 3

Well, I’ve been working my butt off at the shop, this last month & a half I’ve been avoiding Facebook. I’ve gotten on to take care of shop business & keeping up with the occasional business contact, but I’ve avoided reading friends’ personal posts & comments. There’s been an item or two I would have liked to share with everyone, but I just wasn’t ready to dive back in. I’m still not positive I’m totally there, but it is getting to be more difficult to work around Facebook (because of the shop’s Facebook page), and tough to keep up with homeschool events.

I knew this would be a three part series before I began writing it, but after I finished up part two, I couldn’t seem to find a thread in my brain for part three. Maybe (I don’t remember what the slant of it was going to be) it was resolved. Maybe it wasn’t and it will resurface later – no problem. I can always blog it then. At any rate, I do have one more thing I wanted to write:

I believe most people would agree with me on this one: It is never anyone's place (with the possible exception of a spouse/partner) - to demand that someone else live their life to their expectations. At least when we’re talking about adults; if we’re talking about kids, I’d surely get some arguments, but the situation I’m talking about was 2 unrelated adults, so we’ll leave it at “adults”.

Sure, there are people out there who are always ready and willing to judge, jump to conclusions, find something negative. I understand that – I don’t have to accept it as the norm (because I know better, now), but I understand. You (that general “you”, again) are well within your rights to have your thoughts & feelings and I’m well within my rights not to like them (or to like them, as the case may be). However, I believe it is a serious line to cross when you try to enforce those thoughts/beliefs/way of acting onto someone else. In any friendship/relationship, there are factors each person is going to have that are acceptable and those that aren’t; if the non-acceptable factors outweigh the benefits of the relationship, that is the time to decide to walk away from the relationship. It is not normal or healthy to believe that you can control the other person, their beliefs, thoughts, actions to suit your parameters. It is the epitome of unhealthiness to try to threaten someone into abiding by your misguided attempts to change them into your ideal.

Along those same lines: respect cannot be commanded. Sometimes, you can command and get results that look like respect, but if it is not genuinely earned, it isn’t really respect.

I'm putting this out in the blogosphere, in hopes that it might help someone. I thought it would be cathartic for me, but it turned out not to be needed so much as was righting my world and putting all the craziness of the last half year in order (where I could) and behind me (for the most part). Now, hopefully, back to "normal"... whatever *that* is! :~)

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