Tuesday, January 1

An Inkling of Understanding

"Be careful how you interpret the world: it *is* like that." -Erich Heller, essayist (1911-1990)

*Disclaimer: I had many brief interruptions and one long one, so this may come out sounding disjointed or worse ;~)

When I have moments like this, moments when *true understanding* seeps in around the roadblocks of old tapes/status quo, I want to run to each and every one of my "voices of reason", my mentors, the more experienced folks I've learned so much from (run to them like they're in the next room, because it often feels as if they are *that* close)... folks like Sandra, Danielle, Meredith, Ren, Diana, Robyn, Schuyler, Pam, Joyce -and more-, grab them up in a huge bear hug, laugh and jump and dance and not only share the joy of the moment, but THANK them beyond what words can ever do justice.

I think I've finally come up with a passing explanation of what this RU, respectful parenting, natural learning, whole life unschooling means to me. My kids have their own path. I've "known" that in my brain, but it seems it is so difficult for what I know in my brain to seep into my heart, my soul, my being.... But today, (hmmm... why do so much of these "sinking in" things happen in the shower?? LOL Maybe because its so quiet in there... ) it really became understood *inside* me. They have their own path. I can not see where their path will lead, I cannot -or maybe SHOULD not- control their path, know what it will bring them, where it will take them or who will join them on their journey. Dave and I are here as experienced guiders, people who can explain how to judge road conditions, how to read the signs, what might happen, what our experiences on our paths have been and how we traversed the hills and valleys, the bumps and curves. We can give them knowledge to plan, a soft spot to land, a place of peace to rest when the road is too rough for them. We can help them pack tools and flares, blankets and sustenance. We can help them find ways to communicate along the way, where to find maps and guidebooks. We can fill our hearts will joy and anticipation as the solo part of their journey (solo without us, anyway, not necessarily alone) approaches. There is no way for us to anticipate every single possible thing they will ever need-nor would there be room or time to add all that. But, when it comes to that point, we will wave them off and they will go with joy, hope and excitement onto their own paths with their own experiences in their own world. The less roadblocks we put up, the more we avoid "can't" and imagine possibilities and detours around to "yes", the more prepared they will be to travel on their own. The easier it will be for them to see the wonder, the amazing sights, to get as much joy out of their journey as possible. To find the path that is right for each one of them.... And a home to come back to if they should need a haven of rest.

What is that old saying about walking side by side? Let me see if Google turns up anything... Ah, gotta love Google:
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." Albert Camus (1913-1960)
That has always "said" something to me. Funny, I haven't thought of it for a long time. Funny, too, that I always thought of it as a "life partner" thing... Well, I guess it still IS-just my definition of "partner" has changed. Or maybe my definition of "life partner"...

I raise my glass, this New Year's Day, in toast: To The Journey! {clink!}


Stephanie said...

I love it, this is great and I didn't think it was jumbled at all. My best thoughts come to me while I soak in the tub :)

Now if I could just remember them once I get it :)

JadeB said...

What a wonderful post. I am new here but do intend to come by often!